So, I know I'm three months late in doing this, but I'm hoping that the extra time has giving me more perspective on explaining the ups and down of 2012 (or maybe I'm saying this because it sounds better then saying "I'm procrastinating")
Overall, 2012 was a challenging year for me. I went through in just about every area of my life. I really didn't think about the tests and trials while I was in the midst of them, but toward the end of December, I had to look back and say, "Wow - I really went through this year."
I've seen some people around me say and do things that hurt. I wasn't really hurt personally, but I saw people get hurt by their bad decisions; and it hurt me to see them hurting, and it hurt me that I couldn't do anything to help them. I learned, on another level, about letting go and letting God.
I had to confront some insecurities that were hidden deep down; specifically, I had to confront the warped view of manhood and driving. Because of my upbringing, there were things that I wasn't able to experience that other children/teenagers go to experience - namely, the experiences of a driver's license and a car. I had spent most of my adulthood feeling that I was wasn't really a man because I didn't have a driver's license or a car. I felt that, when I acquire these things, that I'd finally feel as though I was a man.
Well, I got my driver's license in 2011, I got a car in 2012, and I lost the car in 2012 (the financing fell through after I drove the car off the lot... long story). After I got the car, and lost the car, I didn't feel more mature. I didn't feel like, "Ah - my manhood is complete." I didn't feel that I had arrived. So, I had to discover the source of the insecure feelings I had.
I realized that there were people around me that tried to make me feel some kind of way about not having a license/car because of their own insecurities. There were people that were perhaps insecure about what God had allow me to accomplish in regards to education, and people who were insecure about my relationship with God and how God has raised me up over the years. So, me not having the means to drive was something for those people to use to try to demean me and mess with my "self-esteem". But, God used the situation with the car to expose and free me, so I praise him!
Money - I went through in this area as well. I only got four months in with the IRS, and I only got $94/week in unemployment, and that got cut off in December... . yeah.
Daycare - We at Anointed Word Fellowship have been working on a daycare for about three years now. We had endured rule changes, personnel changes, personnel "sucka attacks", driving all over Ohio for training, and filing endless paperwork with the state. But, at the end of the day, we got licensed, and our opening day is fast approaching (and me earning an income again is fast approaching).
School - So, I'm currently enrolled in the Master of Education program at Grand Canyon University (focus: Early Childhood Education). So far, I am enjoying my coursework. I am learning a lot, and am excited that I'll be able to help the young children with the knowledge that I'm acquiring through my coursework. And, so far, I'm doing quite well in school. I pray that the next 20 of so months go as smoothly as the past two months.
Assistant Pastor - I'm still Assistant Pastor of Anointed Word Fellowship (AWF). Being in ministry presents many opportunities for personal growth and character building. God has brought together a unique group of people, with diverse abilities, talents, personalities, and characters. So, I've been able to interact, and even be challenged by these different abilities, talents, personalities, and characters. I give glory to God for keeping me for two years, for growing me, equipping me, guiding me, and teaching me to fight in the spirit realm like never before.
The future - Even in December 2012, God had been dealing with me about vision. I believe totally that many dreams/visions/prophecies that have tarried for years are going to manifest in 2013. I believe that I'm finally at a place in my mind/spirit/character/emotions where God can finally open some doors that had been previously shut.
I'm seeing it already this year - the daycare license, school... . I'm just looking forward to everything else that God may have in store!
Well, that's my 2012, in a nutshell. Laton!
