Co-habitation (#tired)

Today, it just rose up in my spirit - an utter disgust for co-habitation and the need to talk about it.

At first, I just put a post on my Facebook page saying Boys and girls play house, men and women get married and make homes. Then I posted a few more comments. Finally, I decided to just write a blog and get it out of my system.


Cohabitation usually refers to an arrangement where two people decide to live together on a long-term or permanent basis in an emotionally and/or sexually intimate relationship. The term is most frequently applied to couples who are not married. (from Wikipedia). I am against cohabitation (or shacking, as I like to call it). Ultimately, people will do as they please, but I wouldn't be who God called me and designed me to be if I didn't speak on it from a Christ-centric view.


I just can't understand what's wrong with marriage. If two people are willing to live in the same space, sleep in the same bed, and even (in many cases), bring children into the world, then why not do the adult thing, the righteous thing, and get married?


I think of several scriptures off the top of my head, including the following:

• The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and receives favor from the LORD. (Proverbs 18:22, NLT)
• Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband (I Corinthians 7:2-3, KJV)
• ²²Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. ²⁴Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. ²⁵Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; ²⁶That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. ²⁸So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. ²⁹For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church (Ephesians 5:22-29)

In light of these scriptures, it should be obvious that a male that won't marry a female, but will cohabit with her, really doesn't love her. He may love the sex, or the free room and board, or the other benefits that may exist, but if he really loved her, he'd marry her and love her as Christ loved the church. Christ sacrificed for the church. Christ is long suffering with the church. Christ is kind to the church. Christ took care of the church. And if a male isn't willing to suffer, be kind, love unconditionally and take care of a female, then he needs to be honest and stop wasting that woman's time.

And if a woman knows that she has issues with submission, then she needs to be honest with herself and not try to have a relationship with a man. It's sad that some women will cater to a boyfriend, or a "baby-daddy", but when it comes to marriage and a husband, they get brand-new. The thing is, according to Ephesians 5:22, it's unto the Lord!!! A woman's submission to her husband is a reflection of her submission to God. If a women refuses to submit to a husband, that lets me know that she isn't submitting to God; she needs to tighten up her walk with God before even thinking about a relationship. And, the thing is, if a woman isn't obeying and submitting to God when it comes to cohabitation, that shows a lack of submission. Submission isn't cooking, cleaning, running bath water, giving a man sex whenever he wants it, and/or giving a man control of "your" life. Submission is reflecting the believer's relationship with God in a marriage. Submission is seeing Christ in the man and trusting in him to love you (woman) as Christ loved (agape) the church. When a man is truly of God, he'll be willing to say, "I do". He'll be faithful to you (woman) and God. He'll uphold, protect, and cherish you.

The thing that really burns me about cohabitation, though, is when children are involved. It's shameful that males and females would be selfish enough to put curses upon their children. Yes - I said it. Cohabitation is cursed. Let's be honest - usually, when a couple shacks, they don't get married; usually, the relationship fizzles out after a few years. So then, the children coming out of cohabitation relationship will most likely grow up in a broken home after the parents split ways. Then, the children will grow up with perverted views of manhood, womanhood, marriage, and family. Then, when those children reach adulthood, they'll either repeat the life (which really even life) modeled by the parents, or display some other form of dysfunction in their relationships.

Ok... I'm tired of writing. But, I was soooo fired up about 90 minutes ago. I'm tired of males not doing right by the these females and these children. I'm tired of these women settling for less; yes, less - a real man will come with marriage. I'm tired of children in adult bodies who's got life all messed up and won't be honest with themselves and others about what they want out of a relationship.

I'm done. I'll holla!